What's conjoint in between two binary...????

Assalamualaikum.

An incident happened this morning and I cannot share this due to norms and values of my race. What I can say, it was so dramatic and it still stuck in my mind. What cause to this 'drama' is something that I expected. The post-drama really keep going inside my mind and something echoes thru my mind. "Fairuz, u ni selalu sangat bermonolog dengan diri sendiri... " Betul apa yang abang Aris cakap tu. Now a pulse just whispering into myself and rephrase all that to " Why you must see everything 'biranically'?"

Ya. This is how I run my life. In what ever I do, it will always black and white, sweet and sour. My perspective always scope to my own walk of life; the path. This dichronic, + and -, creates a 3rd party which is me. It's not continuum and it can't be betwixt. I want to see myself as devian but this is not even that. Ok. What is between BAD and GOOD. This equation is nothing like a quote 'Buat baik berpada2 buat jahat jangan sekali'.

I know that its more similar to androgynous, neither man nor woman. I never came across a word for a party or point which maybe joint or attach or marry two things or situations or item that depicting a modern binary structure. And I think, I am that.

From what ever happened this morning, I know that she loves him so much and he already provides her what she really wants in life and that 'thing' need to be protect. That's nothing compare to what I put on table and trying to give her what she wants but its not that important to her. Maybe to other people this is sad and you will feel that you're not belong. I do feel that and at this moment, writing this, my waterline are getting warmer, and my heart crush. But to balance this, at least I am far more cleaner than him.

For me, it all about trying to make yourself happy. Sometime, justification can really make you happy. I learn this from ASWARA's Dance Faculty, they do happy with every justification that they bark.